Top 10 Jewish T.V. Broadcasters and News Analyzers

1. Wolf Blitzer: Host of Late Edition, The Situation Room, Wolf Blitzer Reports.
2. Larry King: Host of Larry King Live from 1985-2010.
3. Connie Chung: News anchor on several networks, but most famous for CBS Evening News.
4. Jon Stewart: Host of The Daily Show. Political commentator with a comedic twist.
5. Geraldo Rivera: Host of Geraldo at Large, Rivera Live
6. Harvey Levin: Host of TMZ.
7. Dan Abrams: Legal commentator, Chief Legal Analyst for NBC, and anchor at MSNBC.
8. Mary Hart: Host of Entertainment Tonight from 1982 to 2011.
9. William Safire: New York Times Columnist. Was frequently on Meet the Press.
10. Maury Povich: Former anchor of A Current Affair.

The Top 10 Converts to Judaism

1. Marilyn Monroe: Actress, singer and model.  Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, The Seven Year Itch, Some Like it Hot.
2. Elizabeth Taylor: Actress. Butterfield 8, Cleopatra, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.                                                
3. Sammy Davis Jr.: Actor, singer, dancer. Had a life altering experience after being in a car accident that eventually lead to him converting to Judaism.                                         
4. Tom Arnold: Actor. True Lies, The Best Damn Sports Show Period, Roseanne.
5. Elizabeth Banks: Actress. Spiderman, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Zach and Miri Make a Porno.
6. Nell Carter: Singer, Actress. Gimme a Break!, Ain’t Misbehavin.
7. Ivanka Trump: Businesswoman, socialite.
8. Connie Chung: Journalist. ABC, CBS.
9. Isla Fisher: Actress. Wedding Crashers, Confessions of a Shopaholic, Scooby-Doo.
10. Nikki Ziering: Model. Playboy’s Playmate of the Month.

* Honorable Mention: Steve Yeager, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, Mary Hart, Shyne

The Top 10 Jewish Bad Guys, "The Kosher Nostra" and Other Criminals

1. Meyer Lanksy: In the 1930s-1950s, developed a gambling empire and was thought to be one of the most powerful men in the country.
2. Bugsy Siegel: Gangster who was involved with the Genovese crime family, and developed much of what Las Vegas is today. 
3. Arnold “The Brain” Rothstein: Considered to be instrumental in the fixing of the 1919 World Series (The Black Sox Scandal).
4. Mickey Cohen: Los Angeles gangster from the 1930s-1960s. Worked with Bugsy Siegel. Set up the Flamingo Hotel.
5. Dutch Schultz: New York gangster in the 1920s and 1930s involved in bootlegging during prohibition.
6. Louis “Lepke” Buchalter: Head of the mafia hit squad “Murder, Inc.” Only major crime boss to have received the death penalty.
7. Monk Eastman: Founded the Eastman Gang in New York, which lasted form the 1890s to the 1910s.
8. Bernie Madoff: Headed the largest Ponzi scheme in history.
9. Yigal Amir: Assassinated Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin.
10. Jack Ruby: Killed Lee Harvey Oswald, the man who assassinated JFK.

* (Dis)honorable Mention: Jack Abramoff               

The Top 10 Alleged Jewish Conspiracies

1. International-Communist-Judeo-Masonic Conspiracy: A Secret collation of Jews, communists and freemasons whose goal is world domination. The plans for world domination are in a forged book called the Protocols of the Elders of Zion.         
2. Blood Libel: Jews kill Christian babies and use their blood for ritual purposes, such as the unleavened bread (matzah) for Passover.
3. Holocaust: Jews invented the Holocaust for sympathy, leading to the creation of Israel.              
4. 9/11: Jews planned 9/11 in order for the U.S. to then attack the enemies of Israel.             
5. Poisoned wells: Jews poisoned wells in Europe during the Middle Ages, which is how the Jews infected the population with the Black Death.           
6. Jewish Banking: The Rothschilds and other Jewish bankers set up the Federal Reserve and other banking systems to control world money flow.
7. Host Desecration: Jews steal hosts (sacred bread) and desecrate them in order to re-enact the crucifixion of Jesus.
8. Bolshevik Revolution: Jews led the Bolshevik Revolution to overthrow the Czar as part of their goal for world domination.
9. Iraq War: Jews started the war in Iraq to get rid of Israel’s enemy, Sadaam Hussein.         
10. JFK Assassination: Israel’s Prime Minster David Ben-Gurion was angered that JFK would not allow Israel to become a nuclear power, so Ben-Gurion had JFK killed by the Mossad.       

The Top 10 Jewish Pickup LInes

1. G-d said, “Be fruitful and multiply.”  Let’s not disappoint.
2. You had me at Shalom.
3. Your name must be Israel, because you look like the promised land to me.
4. Shabbat must be over because I can see the stars in your eyes.
5. Is that a mezuzah in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
6. You come to this mikvah often?
7. I can’t help breaking the first commandment, I worship you!
8. I want to marry you like Yom Kippur...fast!
9. So which commandment do you want to break with me first?
10. When is Yom Kippur because I’ve been having some sinful thoughts about you, and I need to repent.