The Top 10 Jewish Pickup LInes

1. G-d said, “Be fruitful and multiply.”  Let’s not disappoint.
2. You had me at Shalom.
3. Your name must be Israel, because you look like the promised land to me.
4. Shabbat must be over because I can see the stars in your eyes.
5. Is that a mezuzah in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
6. You come to this mikvah often?
7. I can’t help breaking the first commandment, I worship you!
8. I want to marry you like Yom Kippur...fast!
9. So which commandment do you want to break with me first?
10. When is Yom Kippur because I’ve been having some sinful thoughts about you, and I need to repent.

The Top 10 Unofficial Commandments

1. Thou shalt never put up a Christmas tree.
2. Thou shalt never pay retail.
3. Thou shalt earn a either an M.D., J.D., Ph.D., or M.B.A.
4. Thou shalt eat Chinese food on Christmas.
5. If putting up any kind of lights during the month of December, thou shalt only put up blue and white lights.
6. Thou shalt prefer mustard to mayonnaise on all of your sandwiches.
7. Thou shalt not eat Wonder Bread.
8. Thou shalt register on JDate at least once in your life.
9. Thou shalt complain about the taste of Manischewitz wine.
10. Thou shalt laugh at newscasters who mispronounce Jewish holiday names.